Thursday, June 30, 2011

back to reality

So, I just thought of something... my boyfriend is going home tomorrow for a few hours to see his family because he won't be able to be there for the 4th of July.  I am off on Friday... wouldn't it have been a good time to introduce me to his family?  hmm unless he has no intention of ever doing that and in that case... I am obviously not as important as I thought I was.  It could be that there is too much going on and it probably wouldn't be the best time to introduce me to them.

Now, I just thought of something else... while we were hanging out downtown on Sunday we saw some of his friends from school.  He didn't introduce me as his girlfriend.  I wonder why?

I think I have been crating a picture in my mind of what our relationship is without being realistic. I need to be more careful.  I don't want to hurt again.  I am not sure if he realizes how much pain he could inflict on me with one word or with one gesture.

I never thought that I would feel this way about someone.  I want a future... with him but I don't know if that is feasible. I guess if I knew how he feels about me, it would make things easier...

I haven't seen him since Monday and while I thought I was fine I find myself missing him tonight.

I need to grow up.

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