Life is hard for women. Even though things have changed in this country in the last century, women are still struggling with the double standard. However, not all of our problems arise from our struggle to compete on the same level as men. We also retain some of our grandmother’s ideas about what love should be. We want romance. We dream about our knight in shining armor. We watch movies such as 10 things I hate about you, Ever After, Never Been Kissed, Life or something like it, 13 going on 30, Shakespeare in love, French Kiss, etc; but do we really wish for a movie like relationship? What happens in our head that makes us unable to see life for what it is? I’ve been thinking about that and maybe it’s because reality doesn’t fulfill our dreams. Men in our society are selfish and do not take the time to make their women feel loved and cherished. Many of them cheat on them, abuse them or simply ignore them. A reality like that makes me want to sit through Beaches once again. So why is it so hard in real life to experience that type of happiness and love/romance? Has Hollywood tarnished our view on what love truly is and left us crying for a stupid unreachable fairy tale? I do not think so. At some extent that fairy tale relationship that seems bliss and oblivious to any social problems is reachable. The problem is maintaining it ever after. Many newly weds and couples who cohabitate can relate to the honey moon period in a relationship. That is the most enjoyed by women (since I am not a man I can not speak for them but I am sure that they have many things to enjoy about this period as well) because it’s filled with romantic gestures, love making, admiration and happiness. So what happens? Why doesn’t it last? Do we have it all wrong?
While I was watching the movie 10 things I hate about you. I couldn’t stop to think about my most happy moment and that was back at the beginning of my relationship. Nothing has been able to top that. I was a princess. I was the shrew that found her true love and the world started to make sense then. I wondered how I could have lived without this person for so long. Now I wonder why I don’t live without this person. It’s been 3 years and I am very sad to say that things are not even close to that point. I had never been so happy and I am afraid that I will never reach that point again. It was like a dream. It was the dream I never let myself have because it could not exist. I mean, how could it? And even if it did, that didn’t mean it would happen to me. Well it happened to me but like all good things it was gone before I knew it.
Back then I was a goddess. I felt beautiful, appreciated, cared for, and loved. I have never done drugs before but I am guessing that being in love like that could be like a drug; a happiness drug that ruins the rest of your life.
Well that was a bit depressing but I am finding that my life could be pretty depressing. I’ve recently understood that none of the things I thought a couple should do work with my loved one. He seems to want to be alone or with other people before spending time with me and when he actually spends time with me he makes me feel like he’s doing this huge chore and that he should be rewarded for it. Well, that doesn’t work for me. How did a fall in love with such a selfish person.
Watching some magazine and come photographed couples holding hands and kissing made me think of my own relationship and how much I long to have someone who wants me for who I truly am and who enjoys kissing me and touching me and who doesn’t necessarily wants to have sex all the time. I know, I am describing a woman but, why not? I just thought of Herland… would women be better off without men? Our fights, competition, obsession with aesthetics, and desire for mone are directly related to this male dominated society and it is survival of the fittest. Women want to get the best mate they can get to make good babies…