What is this feeling… part 2

Well… I have untangled my feelings since my last post and I think that I understand why I was feeling so upset with my boyfriend’s brother’s girlfriend.  She was behaving like she’s the most important thing in the world and like her thoughts and ideas are the shit we’ve all been waiting for since the beginning of time.  Actually, my biggest problem with her is that she is trying to change a young man who’s future is so bright and exciting she could perish just because her plans involve getting married and having kids in the near future where her boyfriend’s plans involve a masters degree in Guam (2yrs) and a possible PhD in Australia.

If you’ve been reading my blog then you know that I am a huge advocate for a life that involves travel and that has nothing to do with marriage and having children.  Now, you may be wondering why.  Well, I actually have a LOT of respect for the next generation.  Children are great and they are the future and I just don’t want to mess up a kid’s life because I want to live my life traveling and learning new languages.  I like being like a nomad.

So, the obvious question would be “why do you even care what she thinks or does?” 

I don’t… but I am around the backlash of it…- luckily only until Thursday of next week- and I feel so impotent because it is NOT my place to say anything to him and I can’t really tell her off because she’s not on my back she’s on her BF’s back about all this.  grr… ok I’m back to worrying about my own life… I’ll leave those two alone and see what happens… even if it bothers me a lot.

That uncomfortable feeling in my gut.

This might be the most unfair thing to say to someone who shouldn’t matter to me at all but I seriously can not stand my boyfriend’s brother’s girlfriend.  Everything she does and everything she says is just sooo utterly annoying and bothersome.  I have reached a point where I can’t even hear anybody talk about her because that feeling in my gut starts to simmer until I feel so disgusted that I could literally text her and inform her that she is no longer welcome in my phone.

To be fair she has never done anything to me but if you have ever met someone that just didn’t feel right deep down then you’ll understand. 

Writing about it makes me feel so much better because I live with my boyfriend’s family and as you can imagine I can’t really walk up to people and tell them how I feel.  For all I know they LOVE her but I really don’t know a thing.  For all I know they HATe me but again, I really don’t know that either so I need to thread lightly because I could make the rest of my stay in this house hell if I end up offending my hosts.

I think it’s easier to dislike her when her boyfriend makes fun of her on a regular basis and so I don’t feel so guilty for feeling the way I feel.  My boyfriend is not really that charmed by her and luckily I am able to share “some” of my feelings with him but I try not to be too open about that situation just to cover my tracks. 

ugh… I should try to be more productive and do something tonight but I really don’t feel like it at all so I’m just gonna go drink with my bf and his dad. 

My best friend in the whole world just got home and I need to leave…