Relationships are not complicated. People are complicated and in their uncertain worlds they attribute such complications to their relationships when in reality the origin rests within themselves.
I’ve been trying to find a way to express my feelings about break ups and moving on but I am having a hard time finding the right words to convey my feelings and perceptions of this unique part of our lives without sounding judgmental or prejudiced. I think the easiest way is to just tell you what happened and how I feel about it and you can make your own mind.
To me nothing in a relationship can be assumed since people are complicated and we can’t presume to know what the other person is thinking or feeling at any given point. We start out by choosing to go out on a few dates and if we like the other person enough we decide to keep seeing them to get to know them better. After some time, and it could be a week or years, a new decision must be made… do we want to be in a relationship or do we keep things casual? that is when the titles boyfriend/girlfriend are given. Then after some time if things work out and the now “couple” feels like they are ready to make the next commitment they can get engaged and then finally they get married and have kids and live happily ever after.
So what happens when things don’t work out? To me there is no going back. Making the decision to be with someone should not be taken lightly and the decision to leave someone is even more important. So when someone decides to leave their current partner it should be with the understanding that this is the end of the relationship as they know it. There are reasons why it didn’t work out and why would anybody want to return to that? once you try a pair of shoes you thought looked great in the display but they didn’t fit properly when you tried them on… you don’t go back and keep trying the same shoes on in hopes that one day they will finally fit… we move on to the next pair until we find the perfect fit that will allow us to walk through life without getting hurt and more importantly without blisters…
What do you do if the shoe is stuck to your foot and doesn't want to come off? well we pull on it harder and once it comes off we throw it in the box and send it away to never see it again because in the struggle it hurt your feet more than it did when it was on and it hurt your toes. We do not tell the shoe that we are trying on a different pair, a pair that looks beautiful and feels great. We just send the old one away with the sales person to never see it again. We don’t request it back and we definitely don’t buy it hoping it will fit later.
I have thrown the old shoes away because they hurt my feet and even though we struggled for some time I finally got them off and I threw them in the box and sent them away to never request them back. I will never touch those shoes again. My feet have calluses from them and they will never fit properly again.
I wonder if I’ll ever find another pair that will fit so perfectly…
I will never go back to the old pair… this I know in my heart.
I wish he knew that too…
MB
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