What really kills me is why people don't communicate what they feel or what they don't feel to the other person before it becomes unbearable. If someone senses that an undesirable is interested in them, shouldn't they be courteous enough to inform that undesirable that they are not on the list?
Speaking of the list, how does one get on the list? I mean, I think big boobs might help but also pretty lips and eyes. I personally like blue or green eyes, blonde hair and a small waist. But I don't look like that and I never will get on the list just based on looks. I don't like to cook... though I can make some yummy dishes... I dislike cleaning hence the messy apartment. I love little white dogs and I am not afraid to admit that most of the time I really enjoy just laying in bed all morning. So, these characteristics don't necessarily scream "girlfriend" so as of recently I had opted to just be the friend with benefits, of course, and that had been working wonderfully for a while but being the girl that I am... I grew tired of it. I am not sure what it was. I think it was the lack of interaction with an actual person.. It became too much about the one activity and we left the people out of it. I enjoyed it throughly while it lasted though.
So, back to the reason why I am writing this blog. Men trick women into thinking that they are interested in us. That way they lower our walls and get something they want. Different men want different things. But they are usually interested in things that will boost their self esteem.... it can be as little as a compliment every day, the knowledge that a girl is thinking of them, the knowledge that even if they don't do anything - someone is out there ready to talk to them; and finally, power. Yeah, it is the old tale that attention empowers people because it gives the recipient of all this attention the ego boost they need to do well in other areas of their life. The problem here is that they do not reciprocate the favor to the stupid girl who is sitting alone at home on Friday night saving herself for this one dude. Sad, isn't it?
So, why do smart and attractive women let themselves be lured into such a meaningless and unfulfilled game? Because deep down we want to believe in the stories we heard when we were little. That love exists and that there is someone out there waiting to find how wonderful you are and because of this belief we keep trying and trying until we've dated every single loser in the city... isn't there more to life than this?
Ella
2 comments:
well certainly there is more to life than the games that boys and girls play, but thats a different and much deeper question altogether.
my thoughts on the matter are pretty old school. as a woman, dont give a guy what he wants until you get what you want. this means holding off on the sexual until he gives you the emotional care and love that you want. im not saying wait till marriage, but if he gets everything out of a relationship he wants he will lose the incentive to give you what you want... even if he cares for you.
this doesnt necessarily mean play hard to get, be honest and open, but stick to your guns, no touching until there is commitment. ... like i said, old school. but it works.
Thank you for your comment Chroniclesofben. I feel that the media has a lot to do with our perception of what a relationship must be like and how things should develop.
I guess the real challenge here is to find someone that is compatible with your idea of commitment... There are people out there looking for a husband or a serious boyfriend and then there is the rest of us that just want a good friend to hang out with.
I think your approach is the best when considering a long term relationship. For the latter... honesty would be perfect as long as both parties can be frank with each other.
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