Saturday, May 4, 2013

You’re ugly no matter what they say

Well, not really but some days I do feel hideous.  Today for example.  Never mind that I didn’t even try to look nice.  I have been wearing sweats all day and a t-shirt.  I just looked at a picture of my boyfriend and his cousin (?) and step brother and they all look so young and skinny… The only thing I could think as I saw that picture is… thank god I am not there because I would have been the only fat person in that picture.  I also have been eating like a pig today… not really… just the oreos.  According to my calendar I am 3 days away from getting my period.  That shouldn’t be an excuse to put on 5bls and load up on chocolate, should it?

Every year I say that I am going to get thin but it never happens.  Some say that I should learn to love myself the way I am but sometimes it is very hard.  I say that while watching Jessica Alba in Honey in all of her skinny gorgeous latina beauty… I wonder what it would feel like to look like her… I don’t want to be her… I just want to be her size.  It baffles me to be lucky enough to have a boyfriend… geesh… that’s totally crazy when you think about it!!!!

Hmmmm  I suppose that I should stop complaining and hit the gym more often… eat half my meal and starve to skinny.  Somehow, that plan sounds horrible, doesn’t it?

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