I haven’t written here in a long time. It just seems that I get a greater urge to write when I am not feeling well or when I feel depressed. Today that is not the case.
Through a series of painful and not so painful experiences, I have learned that most of the things I expected from being in a relationship are plain wrong. Fairy tales, telenovelas, movies, tv shows… they all give us expectations that may or may not solidify in the real world. I spend many nights upset and sad over a conversation that didn’t go in the direction I wanted or I felt that my relationship had reached an important milestone but my boyfriend wasn’t all the way there with me. Those expectations were all wrong.
Last night I felt loved and completely happy. I wasn’t afraid that he was going to leave me or that I would want to leave him. I felt that we were working towards a common goal and that we’ll make it to India and that we’ll leave this job and this city soon. I was laying in bed and I felt completely happy. Neither of us said ILY but I felt loved. I used to resent him for not saying the L word but now I realize how foolish I was to resent him over a word… a prefabricated idea that gets shoved down our throats. Love is more than saying a word. Love is how we live life.
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